Freud, You Buffoon I've been reading about the life and work of Sigmund Freud, sex is the root cause of everything, everything in dreams is sexual and all that, so naturally when I started dreaming the other night I thought I was in for a good, mucky time. The scene was, I'm alone in a house when two stunning young girls walk in, at this point part of my brain is going 'Whoopee !' The girls sit down, and then ask me what is for dinner, I go and make dinner. Right, so we've not got to the mucky bit strait away, but a bit of delayed pleasure won't harm. I bring dinner to the table and we sit down and eat, the tv is on and a deeply pornographic movie begins. 'Result' shout my id and ego at the same time, but then my idiot super-ego cuts in, takes control of my mouth and hands, switches channels to Blue Bloody Peter and says "I don't think you should be watching that girls". Aargh, super-ego you fool, what are you doing ? Them we pour some wine, a very large glass for me, two tiny glasses for the girls, we drink the wine, dinner ends. "We're going up to the bedroom now," say the girl. "Do you want to join us ?" Here we go then, hurrah, two gorgeous girls wearing very little, ego and id are almost falling over each other in an effort to get me upstairs. But then moron super-ego cuts in again, "No thanks girls, I'm going to watch Match Of The Day." And I did. Freud is an idiot, and when id and ego catch up with super-ego they're going to give him a right kicking.