Footy Time Well, I'm still having a hrd time getting excited about about the footy this season, he glorious summer of cricket has sapped my enthusiasm for the money game, that said, the mighty Warriors are doing very well indeed. Thanks to free scoring Rob Hulse even LUFC are doing a bit better this season. In proper sport though, it's only a month unil England play again . I'm looking forward to our batters despatching Akhtar's wayward speed bowling to all parts of the park. If he doesn't throw a hissy fit and get chucked out of the Pakistan team that is.

Rudolph Dies - Danish Air Force To Compensate Santa Read all about it

Reserve Your Copy At Your Newsagents Now... Make your own here

You're Living In A Police State Now Well, you are if you attend the Nu Labour party conference anyway. If you disagree, dare to voice an opinion other than that held by our glorious leaders, dare to think for yourself, you're in bother mate. It won't matter how young or old you are, our secret police enforcers are especially good at roughing up frail old men. The Labour party conference used to be a hotbed of political discussion, now even senior Labourites believe it to be a week long Tony and Gordan appreciation show. Walter Wolfgang heckled the Home Secretary and was ejected, quite forcefully, from the conference, his crime ? He dared to shout the highly offensive word "Nonsense" whilst Jack Straw was wittering on about the problems in Iraq. Remember folks, think like they do, say what say they, be the same, don't think for yourselves, Nu Labour are watching.

The Death Of One Is A Tragedy..... .....the death of millions just a statistic. I have been trying to remember just how many people died in the July 7th London bombings. I think I have got it now. It was 1. John Charles De Menezes. According to nearly all the media I can find, BBC, ITV, Sky, The Times, Telegraph, Gruaniad and Indy and a hundred odd politics blogs, he appears to have been the only victim. He was murdered by the police, so they say, for a lugh, on purpose, by trigger happy gun toting fascists, by accident, because of bad intelligence, because he looked like an Arab, or a Paki, or because he was wearing the wrong jacket, or hat, or because he had to forgotten to wave a small banner proclaiming "I'm not a bomber." Anyway. 1 is far easier to remember than 52, and it is easier to make a point about a few members of one family than it is about the hundreds and thousands touched, affected and grieving about the 52 murder victims killed in the atrocity. Let's not even mention the injured, 700 people, we surely can't expect the public to be able to grasp a number so large, except as a statistic, so let's get back to banging on about one bloke. Why is it that almost our entire media seems to have turned so vehemently on our police force when there are probably more Al-Qaeda operatives at large in the UK ? Of course is it important that the chain of events that led up to the death of Mr Menezes are properly investigated and understood, that's properly investigated, not trial by media to improve your newspaper's circulation, or to keep people glued to the news on tv whilst you sell advertising for flash cars and supermarkets. If one more person was murdered because the resources of the police had been diverted into investigating the death of one man (as opposed to 52), this would be a travesty. The death of John Charles De Menezes was terrible and shocking, but no more so than the death of Helen Jones, or Shahara Islam, or Behnaz Mozakka, or Jamie Gordan, or any of the 48 other people murdered on July 7th.

Further Arty French Weirdness The art of Bernard Faucon, I wasn't too keen on his phtography, his painting is alright, but his photography is mesmerising, it switches from being charming and smile inducing to horrific and gasp inducing, but don't worry, only mannequins were harmed during the production. (Recommended by Leeds Kerbside)

Do you ever have one of those dreams where you get to sleep with an all girl band, then wake up to find you have actually pulled the dog rough one from Sugababes ? I hate it when that happens.

Captions ?

Minimiam is a strange little French art site featuring food and miniature people, it's quite quirky and fun.

Yorkshire Soul's Rambling Quiz - Series 4 - Week 1 Here we go, the slate is wiped clean, everyone has an equal chance, it's a marathon not a sprint. The quiz will have 10 parts, please don't add spoilers in the comments, send your answers to my e-mail addy on/by the date given, do not send lists of possible answers, feel free to question my questions/answers, this is unlikely to win you any bonus points however. Answers for week to yorkshiresoul@gmail.com, headed - QUIZ WEEK 1, on/by Monday 3rd October. What do you know then, about the Levant ? 1) What was the name of the field marshall who led the campaign to capture Jerusalem, Damascus and Allepo during WW1 ? (1) 2) Jerusalem was twice destroyed, who commanded the armies that destroyed it, and in between, who ordered it's rebuilding ? (3) 3) Damascus is reckoned to be the oldest city in the world to be what ? (1) 4) Name the 4 seas that Israel borders ? (4) 5) What was the name of the short war in which Israel defeated the forces of Iraq - Egypt - Syria - Jordan, and who commanded the Israeli forces ? (2) 6) What is the highest point of the West Bank ? (1) 7) What is the significance of the red stripes on the Lebanese flag ? (1) 8) When did Jordan become part of the Ottoman empire ? (1) 9) What is the name of the world famous Lebanese vineyard that managed to produce wine in all but two years of the civil war ? (1) 10) Who is commemorated by the eagle on the Egyptian national flag ? (1)

Smoke And Mirrors Who really believes, part from John De Chastelain, Alec Reid and Harold Good, that all of the IRA's weapons have been truly 'put beyond use' ? The security forces and intelligence services in both the UK and Eire came up wit their own estimates of how much of an arsenal the IRA had in their possession. This week, the independent overseers of the decommissioning process declared that the amount of arms 'put beyond use' was an amount very similar to these estimates. How surprising. The overwhelming air of secrecy that the terrorist IRA have managed to impose on the process has left doubts though, not just in the minds of Ian Paisley and the DUP, but in the thoughts of many people, NI residents and mainlanders alike. The problem with trusting the IRA is that it is an organisation made up of real and would be murderers, terrorists, bombers, killers of men, women, soldiers, police and little children. The list doesn't end there, you can add drug dealers, smugglers, extortionists, bank robbers, thugs both petty and serious, people filled with bile and hatred. Clearly, none of these people are going to be towards the top of your 'most trusted' list. Obviously a level of trust is required if the peace process is to move forwards, but surely this trust could have been better achieved if people had been allowed to learn how many weapons there were, how old these weapons were, and exactly how had they been 'put beyond use'. It's a strange day indeed when you find yourself agreeing with anything with Ian Paisley, but for once I find his arguments difficult to dismiss. I myself find it hard to believe that no weapons or explosives remain. Not one armalite to shoot a soldier ? Not one shoebox filled with semtex to blow up a busy parade of shops ? I hope that I'm wrong, I really do. I hope the passage of time proves these fears unfounded and that the province moves into an era of greater peace and prosperity. The IRA though has seldom been a single organisation, throughout it's history it has splintered and factions have sheared away from the main. Did these groups hold substantial stocks of arms ? Have they all been recovered and destroyed. The shroud of secrecy that the government has allowed has left as many questions as it has provided answers. I believe that John De Chastelain, Father Alec Reid and the Rev Harold Good are all intelligent, good and honest men, hard working and diligent and that they have done their jobs to the very best of their abilities. It isn't beyond doubt though that the original estimates of the weapons stockpile were incorrect, that the IRA could be holding more arms than was believed. They kept all their weapons hidden throughout the Troubles, it's entirely possible that some remain hidden still.

If This Is Your Face..... Then this is your face on methemphetamine Slighty scary ? #1 looks like he lost a fight with a cheese grater, #2 should say 25 years later I think, yikes. #4 completely lost her ability to put her eye liner on straight and now has an expression that screams "Yeah, WHATEVER", but #3, weeeeelll, he's lost a bit of puppy fat, managed to grow half a moustache, the drugs have cleared up some of his acne and he's got a whole Jonny Depp circa Chocolat thing going on with his hair. Methamphetamine, in tests, 25% of users claimed it improved their appearance, although the imaginary skin burrowing bugs episode should be enough to keep you clear of it. As Mazza says..."I don't like the drugs, but......"

Book Review - Diary Of A Manhattan Call Girl - Tracy Quan** Does this count as 'Chick Lit' ? If so it is not my cup of tea. Nancy is a high class hooker, happy enough in her work, but filled with niggling nueroses for which she deems it necessary to regularly visit her shrink and talk through her problems. She has friends, all of whom are working girls as well, and a boyfriend who has proposed to her and knows nothing of her working life. So, will she or won't she ? Marry him and give up hooking, I couldn't have cared less, I gamely ploughed on through 250+ pages of weak sex, shopping trips, girly lunches, prostitutes rights meetings and endless visits to the shrink, all twaddle. The ad blurb on the back cover reads "Bridget Jones with attitude", this may be all you need to know, it just sums it up, if you like Miss Jones ten you'll probably like this, if, on the other hand, you prefer something intelligent, well written and challenging, don't go anywhere near it. It's not even worth reading for the sex scenes.

Heavy Metal vs. Soaps I turned on the telly last and was treated to the bizarre sight of Francis Rossi and Rick Parfitt beating up Les Battersby in Coronation Street. What was the neck brace all about Francis ? Anyway, this set me thinking, are there any other soap stars you would like to see get a good smacking from a rock god ? How about Till Lindeman pasting Pauline Fowler ? Rob Halford gives Harold Bishop a whipping, er, moving right along.... Marilyn Manson pounds Barry Hyde ? Or best of all, Slipknot run riot and murder the entire cast of Hollyoaks, kill the production crew, find the people that write it and snip off their fingers, go round and randomly bully a few of the soap's fans and then sow the ground with salt so that it can never, ever be seen again because it's shit, shit, shit I tell you. Phew, sorry, got a bit carried away there, but you get the general idea.

Babysitting Squirt and Kevin were both working yesterday so I got asked to mind Ellie for the day, by happy circumstance Wosser and Candice needing Natalie watching for a few hours so we took the girls off to Bolton Abbey and went for a nature ramble in Strid Wood. My instant family! Mrs YS, Natalie and Ellie at the Cavendish Pavilion. Throwing pebbles in the Wharfe, and getting mucky. Playing aeroplanes in the woods, we didn't actually see any wildlife, I think it was all warned off by the constant high pitched shrieking and giggling. The girls are all funned out. Awww, cute. We met up with Wosser and Cands and got the boys from school. Strawberry milk moustaches all round. That was a great day off.

Original Rebel I saw this over at the excellent Primate Journal. This is part of an advertising campaign created by the Churches Advertising Network to encourage people to go to churh at Christmas, or at least to visit ReJesus.co.uk. What do you think ? I think this is a brilliant image, Che's image has adorned the walls of tens of thousands of student flats, t-shirts and coffee mugs, it's a striking concept. Would it work for you ? This is another poster image that CAN produced for an Easter campaign.... I wonder if they would t-shirts like this ? I'd have one.

President and Daddy Bush visiting Noo Orleeeans. Spot on reporting from Sky News. (Both kindly donated by DSP Andy)

Yorkshire Soul's Rambling Quiz - Series 3 Results It was a picture quiz, and in honour of our glorious Ashes winning cricket team, some of the pictures made up the palyers name, some were less obvious, this weeks scores then...... Chez 20 Dr. P 20 MR 20 Eleanor 20 Wosser 20 Rachel 'O' 14, and an extra honourable mention for getting #4 as 'Skunky Flagnuts', personally I think Pieterson should be known by this nom de plume from now on. Scroll back to Tues 13th Sept for the pics, for the bemused out there... 1) Ashley Giles, Spin bowler, known as Wheely Bin on Test Match special and the King Of Spain elsewhere. 2) Freddie (Trueman) Flint (David Hassel) Hoff, all rounder 3) And (ampersand) Roo (Levi) Strauss, opening bat 4) Skunk + South African Flag + Nuts, as in KP, Kevin Pieterson, batsman 5) Mat + Hew (ing) + Hog + Guard, bowler 6) (St.) Paul's (Cathedral) + Collingwood (shirt), all rounder 7) Ian (Hislop) + (Lutine) Bell, batsman 8) Mic + Al (Gore) + (Stevie Ray) Vaughan, captain and batsman 9) Simon (Says) + (Indiana) Jones, fearsome fast bowler 10) (The Stoning of St.) Steven + Arm + Eye + Sun, Steven Harmison, bowler Series 3 Final League Table 1) Malcolm R 152 2) Eleanor 148 3) Chez 123 4) Dr. P 108 5) Penny Farthing 57 =, Saeri 57= 7) I am a Donut 52 8) Alex H(Yorkshire Ranter) 26 9) Wosser 20 10) Rachel 'O' 15 11) Chay 14 12) Jo (Counting Sheep) 13 12) Deborama 12 14) Katherine(Chatiryworld) 9 15) Cocky 8 16) Ric B 6 17) Stuart 2 18) Tony T 0 Well done to MR, is that a hat trick ? If so he gets to keep the trophy, if I had one. Eleanor pushed close all the way, Chez soared past Dr.P and the leading group were comfortably clear of the peloton. Thanks for taking part everyone, series 4 gets underway within the next month, possibly.

From teefly.com

She's Leaving Home ? My little girl has become a woman. The little girl I brought up, I taught her how to go to the toilet properly, get washed, talk, read, swim and run. I spent hours just watching her when she was younger, seeing her grow, finding her own way in life. It was a proud moment when she left home for the first day of her proper job, and even though I didn't like her first two boyfriends I put up with them, sort of. Now my little Desiree has found a young man she has fallen head over heels in love with, they are besotted, spending all their free time with each other, talking in a language only they seem to understand. Johnny has proposed, Desiree accepted right away, I'm very happy for them both, but now my little girl is going to leave home and things will never be the same around here again. Yes, you've guessed it, I bought a copy of the Sims 2.

A Car Sir, One Destination Only A customer asked me to call a taxi for him last week, so I dialed the number, passed the pone over to the customer and waited. The conversation went something like this..... "I'd like a car for one to go to Menston please." A pause, I can't hear what the taxi firm are saying. "No, I'm not joking." Another pause. "Of course I'm sure I want a car." Another pause, during which the customer presses the phone more tightly to his ear and turns sheet white. "Right, ok then, sorry about that, wrong number." He passes the phone back to me, and now he is slowley turning beetroot red. "Do you think that was funny ?" he shouts. Apparently I had dialed the phone number of the local police station by mistake, oops.

Reducing Childhood Obesity I've had a simple, but I'm sure you wil agree, rather effective idea. Put the mother and child parking spaces at the farthest end of the supermarket car park, thus forcing the fat little buggers to waddle a few hundred yards in order to stock up on coke, crisps and high fat ready meals, hopefully burning off a few calories as they do so. Good idea ? No ?

Where Has My Passion Gone ? With no-one booked in to eat the other night, I sat down to watch the footy, Chelsea versus sombody or other. Now, usually I'm quite happy to watch just about any football that there is, Leeds, England and Stenhousemuir for preference of course, altough admittedly Stenhousemuir rarely if ever make it on to the telly. But the other night there was something missing. I've just sat through twenty or so days of the finest cricket known to man, two superb teams going up against each other and goin all out to win, it was quite wonderful. Now, watching England last week with our disgraceful striker swearing at the captain, watching various players from assorted teams on MOTD at the weekend getting booked for petulance and thuggery, watching millionaires diving, whining and whinging their way around the pitch, seeing blokes fall down and writh around because somebody breathed close to them, it's pathetic. Ricky Ponting got his face cut open in the first test, did he roll around on the floor clutiching himslef and begging the umpire the send off the responsible bowler ? Did he buggery, he got a couple of stitches put in and carried on. Do players complain when Jones, McGrath or Akhtar try to take their heads off ? No, they just get on with the job. I'm pig sick of complaining, foul mouthed, cheating footballers. Name me one player who won't take a dive if he gets close to a defender in the opposition penalty area, I bet you can't, they all do it, they even claim that going down is just part of the game. No it isn't, it's bloody cheating you overpaid, slackjawed dimwits. The thing I'm most sick of is this..... I would rather not have this particular ugly, aggressive, confrontational moron in the England team. I don't care how talented he is at the game, I don't care how much money he gets paid (too much by half though), I don't care how many goals he scores for us. Get rid, he's a small minded thug with the attitude of a pissed up sink estate mugger. There is so much wrong with football that I don't know where to start, or whether I should even bother. Are there any real heroes left in the game ? Is there anybody at all that I should look up to ?

Victory Parade pictures from Pete, he was there, lucky bugger!

Go to the BBC site here I think , and there's a great bit of video showing Freddie falling onto the open bus at the start of the victory parade and Pieterson carrying a large jug of beer and wobbling around, priceless.

"Losing the ashes was galling enough, but losing them to the English is like having dogshit smeared in your face." ....... A nameless Australian 'cricket fan' on another site proves that even many Ozzies have no bloody idea at all about cricket. If we did the Home Secretary's 'cricket test' on all the folk at the victory parade yesterday, how many would have passed it ? At least three of these men are blind drunk, wasn't Freddie a laugh, no matter what question he was asked in interviews he said "I havn't been to bed yet" and then rabbited on in a vaguely incoherent manner for a while. Ha ha ha ha ha, they look like a pair of schoolbaoys who have knocked off to drink cider in the park, well done lads.

"The last person to fuck the Ozzies and bring home the ashes was Paula Yates." Don't blame me, Hungbunny said it.

Yorkshire Soul's Rambling Quiz - Series 3 Week 10 Yes, it's back, answers to yorkshiresoul@gmail.com on/by Wed 21st September..... It's a picture quiz, no spoilers please, name and job please...... 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 7) 8) 9) 10)

Bloody Fantastic!! Well done boys, bless you Michael Vaughan, Freddy Flintoff, Skunky Pierterson, King Of Spain, Tresco, Strauss, Jones, Hoggy and the rest. That was the best test series I have ever had the stomach churning, nail biting pleasure to watch, and we won. Marmite conquers vegemite, but for the posher folks..... ....Chapel Down conquers Chapel Hill. Thanks to all the folks who have made the Ashes such fun here at Y Soul and over at Aftergrog Blog, cheers and commiserations to Tony T, Brett Pee, Dirk Thruster, Russel and all the others on the losing side, it's been great fun. Bigger cheers to Dr P, Wosser, DSP Andy, P, Y Soul and all the rest on the winning side. The Australian team have been mostly magnificent, but outclassed. Shane Warne is without doubt the greatest living cricketer, McGrath has been wonderful when fit, Lee has fought like a lion. Of the batsmen, Ponting was good but whinged a lot, the openers showed their class once only, Clarke looks like he could be awesome in the future, Gilchrist couldn't match himself against a determined English attack. After a heap of abuse from the press and nearly every Australian, Pieterson is the hero of the hour, scores a ton fifty and ends up top of the batting table, well done that mad haired man. Englands openers were good, our middle order rocky, Vaughan was patchy, Bell had a terrible time, Flintoff and Pieterson good and the bowlers were nearly always good throughout. Now that I have calmed down, sunk a bottle of Oz cabernet and a giant Bombay Sapphire, only one question remains in my mind...... ....why was Brett Lee trying to kill laughing Matty Hoggard in the last few overs of a match Australia couldn't win ?

q Hi folks, sorry for the lack of posting, I've been looking at a new barmaid!

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday."I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids came into breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good morning Boss, Happy Birthday!" it felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me."I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table.We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "you know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and colleagues, all singing "Happy birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked. (From Brother in law mk.2)

Come On England! That's me ready for the day. Jones out, McGrath in but will he be as poor as the last test he bowled in ? Collingwood or Anderson ? Form for Vaughan ? Rain all weekend ? One suggestion is to bowl Anderson, then every time he finishes a spell take him off the field and replace him with Collingwood, this will have the triple advantage of getting the best out of a good bowler, an excellent fielder, and making Ricky Ponting explode. Ponting is already whining in the press that it isn't just his fault that Australia are on the verge of losing the Ashes, no it isn't, his team have been comprehensively outplayed in three of the four tests. On the good news front, for me anyway, we are having a sportsman's dinner here at the golf club later in the year and the guest of honour has been confirmed as (Ashes winning) England Captain Michael Vaughan. William Hague is also coming to speak at another dinner close to Christmas, I'm lookng forward to that, he is perhaps the Tories best speaker, I always enjoyed him doing PMQ.

TATU Picture Russian teen lesbians in heat, as Dr P would say.

Yorkshire Soul's Rambling Quiz - Series 3 Week 9 Answers This was a picture quiz, scroll back to Monday 29th if you want to see the pics. There were 5 politicians and 5 footballers to identify, and to get their country or current club. Everyone should have got at least two points as I foolishly posted the wrong picture of Varga in his current club colours, and the Newcastle badge was clearly visible on Ameobi's shellsuit. 1) Mwai Kibaki, Kenya 2) Dominique de Villepin, France 3) Paul Martin, Canada 4) Jose Zapatero, Spain 5) Thaksin Shinawatra, Thailand 6) Rob Hulse, Leeds United 7) Dean Windass, Bradford City 8) David Unsworth, Sheffield United 9) Shola Ameobi, Newcastle United. 10) Stanislav Varga, Celtic This week scores..... Eleanor 20 MR 18 Chez 6 Rachel 0, but in spectacular style, every question answered in a positive and confident manner, they were just all wrong, sorry. You know, such effort deserves some reward, I'm going to give Rachel a point so she can get on the leader board, better luck next week. Penny Farthing 0 Week 9, The Penultimate League Table 1) Malcolm R 132 2) Eleanor 128 3) Chez 103 4) Dr. P 88 5) Penny Farthing 57 =, Saeri 57= 7) I am a Donut 52 8) Alex H(Yorkshire Ranter) 26 9) Chay 14 10) Jo (Counting Sheep) 13 11) Deborama 12 12) Katherine(Chatiryworld) 9 12) Cocky 8 14) Ric B 6 15) Stuart 2 16) Rachel 1 17) Tony T 0 MR and Eleanor go into the last week way out in front of the field, Eleanor has been nibbling at MR's lead, can she make a push for the top spot ? The last quiz, tomorrow, probably.

TATU Pic Of The Day

Black Dog Has anyone lost a large, dopey, friendly labrador ? If so, it's at Fleet Lane Kennels, Queensbury. Steven came into work and said that the aformentioned dog had followed him all the way down from Ilkley, running into traffic and causing general consternation amongst Ilkley's brigade of 4 wheel drivers. When we looked for the dog, it was bounding around on the 2nd tee, getting in the way of the golfers. Oh dear, I thought, that isn't good. So, armed with a length of twine, I set off to capture the dog. When the golfers on the 2nd finally managed to make their tee shots, not easy with a big dog trying to grab your eight iron, the beast followed the balls over the river, via the bridge though, it obviously didn't fancy getting wet. As I arrived at the bridge it had picked up a new group of friends at the 3rd tee, whack! As they drove off it chased their balls up to the 3rd green. Do you see a pattern developing here ? At the 3rd green it found more friends at the 4th tee who were just driving off. As I saw the dog crossing the second bridge in the company of more golfers I waved my arms in a frantic manner and bellowed "Catch that dog". One of the golfers gave me a cheery wave in return. The dof made it to the wide open spaces of the 4th fairway, oh joy. It ran from side to side, alternately licking and picking up golfballs and sitting in front of players who were trying to make their shots. As I arrived panting and sweating there was a chorus of..."Can't you control your bloody dog," from the aggrieved golfers. "It's not my bloody dog," I said, then "Here boy." The dog bounded over to me and four blokes regarded me with an expression that said, liar. I got the rope on the dogs collar, checked it for a name tag, none, gave it a tug, and the bloody dog pulled itself out of its collar and set off up the fairway again. There followed an explosion of language not usually heard on the golf course. Finally, one of the golfers caught hold of the dog up by the 4th green, we had run from the trees to the river, back and forth across the fairway perhaps a dozen times. I had by this time found a large stick, "Good idea," said a golfer, "waggle the stick and see if it comes near you." And then if it does, I thought, I'm going to bray it. Eventually though, the dog was as knackered as we were, it sat down, allowed me to collar it, and then tamely walked with me all the way back to the clubhouse where it proceded to bark solidly for an hour, hardly pausing for breath, until the dog warden arrived. That evening one of the diners called me over and said "Excuse me chef, but there's a hair in my steak pie." "I'm sorry," I replied. "Those labradors are really hard to skin."

New Orleans Who can believe what has happened in New Orleans and it's satellite towns ? We have all looked on in horror at the abject failure of the American goverment to get to grips with a disaster inside it's own borders. Reporters were still saying that last night, five days after hurricane Katrina, there were people inside the city who had not received water, food or clothing. Aid from the USA had arrived in tsunami affected countries two days after the wave struck, in New Orleans people are dying in the streets and the authorities cannot get their act together. We visited New Orleans last year, it's a really interesting place, full of verve and character, the French Quarter, the Garden District, the cemetaries, it has a lot to see. There is vast poverty in the city and a fair amount of crime, and this is apparent in the advice given to tourists, do not leave the French Quarter on foot after dark, take a taxi, do not enter the cemetaries on your own, do not walk north of this point at any time. We cheerfully ignored most of the advice, went to the cemetaries on foot, walked around around the parks during daylight, the city didn't seem half as dangerous as people made it out to be. How quickley it has shed this veneer of civilization though and descended into bloody anarchy. The scenes of aid arriving were just as disturbing, food and water thrown from helicopters, the young and the fit scrambling, fighting over it, grabbing what they could carry and running off whilst families, mothers with children, the old and infirm, the sick and ill looked on in horror. The BBC reported that nowhere in the city were officials trying to distribute supplies properly, take a census of the living or in any way trying to organise the survivors. Contact with survivors seems to be conducted only with a shotgun pointed at them. Appeals have been set up to help the victims of Katrina, I have heard fools on radio phone-ins saying "why should we help the richest nation on earth ?" These peope are poor, they have no jobs, they have lost their homes, all their posessions except the clothes they wear, they have nothing, not the most basic elements of shelter, water, food and power that we all take for granted in our daily lives. And another reason, we're not flying the nazi swastika and singing the horst wessel song because the USA stood by us in OUR hour of need, now stop being so bloody stupid and stick a pound or two in that tin when someone rattles it. New Orleans in better times..... BBC Appeals page

I was asked to run a marathon,I said, "no way." They said 'come on, please, it's for spastics and blind children. So I thought, 'fuck it, I could win this.'

TATU Naked This article rated Not Safe For Work, Vicars, My Aunt Morag and Elderly Tory MP's. Is this a sick obsession Eleanor asks ? Obsession, perhaps, sick, NO! A sick obsession would involve a naked Cherie Blair, a vat of lukewarm caramel Instant Whip, and a camel. N.B. You can substitute a goat for the camel should dromederies be out of stock at your local shopping emporium. N.B.B. You can substitute a naked Fiona Bruce for Cherie Blair. N.B.B.B. There is no substitute for the real thing, alledgedly. Oh dear, I appear to have drifted somewhat wide of my point again, I think I was getting around to saying that everyone likes to be number one at something...... I'm Google #1 for TATU naked! I'm also Google #1 for New Year's Eve, girls, I have made you famous This picture generates about 10% of all hits on Yorkshire Soul, hundreds and hundreds of hits a week And because it would be largely unfair to mention TATU naked so many in an attempt to generate pervy hits and not give te good folk what they came here for..... TATU naked, and kissing , ok, so they're half a mile away on a carousel, but I assure you it IS them.

Album Review : The Dangermen Sessions - Madness**** The Dangermen Sessions Vol 1 it says, so it looks like there will be a second album on the way, I know everyone likes to make some money, but it would have been fairer to release this as a double album. This is Madness getting back to their reggae and ska roots, and in great ska style they have taken a dozen classic tracks and reworked them in nutty boy ska style. There are some absolute classics covered here, Desmond Dekker's Israelites, Bob Marley's So Much Trouble In The World, Lord Tanamo's Shame and Scandal, plus great tracks from Prince Buster, Diana Ross, Max Romeo and Barbara Lynn. I always liked Madness, but it was their early sound that I liked the most and this is what they have applied to this album, it harks back to those early days of Caribbean and UK crossover ska, not too hard edged, playful in that old Madness style, very enjoyable. It's an album full of music to put a smile on your face, especially the cover of the Kinks' Lola, happy music, a good choice of covers, nice to have you back nutty boys. Shame and Scandal video

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