Does anybody understand Rugby Union ? I'm a simple bloke, I like footy and cricket, I like athletics, I can watch darts, rugby league, snooker or even curling when there is nothing better on the box. I sat down on Saturday to watch England vs. France and was pleasantly surprised when we shot into a half time lead. In the second half though, what was going on ? Rugby union is bogged down by a morass of strange and (to the casual viewer at least) indecipherable rules. England gave away penalty after penalty after penalty, and for what ? I have no clear idea. In football you are often fairly sure when an offence has been committed, Roy Keane scythes down some unsuspecting midfielder from behind, then stands on him as he gets up - offence, yellow card (unless it takes place at Old Trafford obviously, then he gets a friendly handshake from the referee). In cricket offences are rare but obvious, handle the ball, you are in trouble with the umpire, argue with the umpire - you are in trouble the match umpire, make a comment about the failing light - get fined your entire match fee. In rugby league though they seem to have a rulebook the thickness of the Lord Of The Rings (hardback edition), every move on the field seems to give the referee an opportunity to blow his whistle. Here are just a few of the reasons that penalties were awarded for last week...... 1) Changing position on the ground after a tackle. 2) Off side flanker coming onto the onside whilst the ball is moving in an anti-clockwise direction. 3) The man in seat 223, block d12 is coming down the aisle with two cups of coffee, if he gets all excited he might spill it and suffer a nasty scald, better stop the game for a minute. 4) I have not used my whistle for fifteen seconds, better check to see if it's still working. 5) I'm important, me me me, not the players, I've got the little headset with the microphone, they've come to see me referee, not them play rugby.