Premiership Reading Stars Following reports that many of Britain's youngsters are below the standard reading age for Europe, the Premiership has enlisted many of its overpaid stars into the reading campaign. Success so far has been a bit hit and miss, no figures are yet available for exactly just how many footballers have been taught to read, Lee Bowyer was dropped from the scheme after an unfortunate head butting incident with Tinky-Winky during a Teletubbies reading group. Jonathan Woodgate, who's LUFC nickname was Village, as in idiot, was reported to be distraught after a fire at his house destroyed his library, both books were lost, and he hadn't even finished colouring one of them in yet.