50 Things To Do Before You Die The complete list as nominated by BBC TV viewers: Swim with dolphins Scuba dive on Great Barrier Reef, Australia Fly Concorde to New York, New York, USA Go whale-watching Dive with sharks Skydiving Fly in a hot air balloon Fly in a fighter jet Go on safari See the Northern Lights Walk the Inca trail to Machu Picchu, Peru, South America Climb Sydney Harbour Bridge, Sydney, Australia Escape to a paradise island Drive a Formula 1 car Go white-water rafting Walk the Great Wall of China Bungee-jumping Ride the Rocky Mountaineer train, Canada Drive along Route 66, USA Fly in a helicopter over the Grand Canyon, Colorado, USA Take the Orient Express from Venice to London See elephants in the wild Explore Antarctica Ride a motorbike on the open road Have a go at cowboy ranching Climb Mount Everest Wonder at a waterfall Travel into space Explore the Galapagos Islands Trek through a rainforest Gallop a horse along a beach Ride a camel to the Pyramids, Egypt Take the Trans-Siberian Railway from Moscow to Vladivostok Catch sunset over Uluru (Ayres Rock) , Northern Territories, Australia Go wing-walking Climb Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa Fly over a volcano Drive a husky sled Hike up a glacier Ride a rollercoaster Fish for blue marlin Go paragliding Play a round of golf at Augusta, Georgia, USA Watch mountain gorillas See tigers in the wild Do the Cresta Run, Switzerland Visit Walt Disney World, Florida, USA Visit Las Vegas, Nevada, USA See orang-utans in Borneo Go polar bear watching I am really annoyed by nearly all of this list, I think it just shows the current paucity of human spirit. No.1 thing to do before you you die ? How about having children before swimming with dolphins ? How about running a marathon before you go bothering tigers ? The Captain and Lady Captain at my golf club recently organised a charity day which raised enough money to fund a disabled childrens sports charity for a year! There's something to do before you ride a rollercoaster. Nearly every item on the list of 50 things could easily be achieved when you threw a bit of money at it, there was no struggle, nothing to accomplish, nothing to be justifiably proud of. If you saw the program you also will have noticed that the man who wanted to climb Everest climed as far as..........base camp, well whoop de fucking do, and pick up some bloody litter whilst you are there, the bottom of Everest looks like the campsite at the Leeds festival on Monday morning. The two girls walking the Great Wall, they didn't want to walk all of it, oh no, just the little touristy bit in the middle, in their bloody high heels and Prada bags. Do you thing that the Aboriginies get really pissed off that everyone (including the BBC who should know better) write, Uluru (Ayers Rock) ? What next ? "Coming soon, the travellers to guide to France (Just to the right of Spain)" And I'm sorry for my well educated American readers who have to put up with........ "Today George Bush will visit London, England", yes! As opposed to the other London. Sorry, wandered off the point there, right, here's a short list of things I'd like to do.................. The London Marathon The Pennine Way The Lyke Wake Walk (this is a double marathon distance hiked in one go) The Long Walk (100 miles, over 3 days, annual but route varies) The Appalachian Trail, ever since reading Bill Brysons account I have fancied this one. Shagging Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, TATU, Kylie, possibly all at once but I'm not that fussy if they can't all make it on the same day. Punching Alistair Campbell, really hard. Watching glorious Leeds trounce Scum 6-0. with Keane sent off in the opening five minutes. Seeing England whitewash the Australians in an Ashes series. Raise £10,000 for charity. Visit my sponsor child Adam, at his home in West Timor. Be a good and useful Godparent to my Godchildren Jo and Ellie. Give up some of my infrequent holidays to plant trees for the Woodland Trust. Get elected to parliament, become Speaker, and then at PMQ's say to Blair......"Just answer the fucking question Tony" Punch Bam Margera when he asks for a hard slap, preferably breaking his annoying little jaw. Have a boxing match, although this would invariably end with me getting hurt. Go foxhunting, and wild boar hunting, and shooting pheasant. There's a thing in country sports, in Scotland, where you fish a salmon, shoot a brace of pheasant and bag a stag, all in one day. Right then, what's your list of must do things ? (and try to leave the dolphins alone please, they only swim with us because they're too polite to say "Sweaty, greasy humans again, fuck no").