An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying United. "He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?" Thanks to John for that. What gets me about airlines is why they bother to have life jackets under the seats, from what I've seen, when a plane nose dives into the sea from 20,000 feet, everybody dies, and if dead people do one thing really well, it's floating. So my advice is, slip the pilot a tenner and tell him to land away from the fish.