Too Much, Too Young This moment was experienced by yours truly, and fuelled by Fairy Liquid, for the uninitiated a Fairy Liquid is a pint of lager with a Blue Bols in it. After far too many green pints we were staggering home from Otley, from the Bay Horse to be specific, it was a cool night and the urgent desire to urinate came upon me. I leaned against a fence at the road side and let fly, perhaps leaned a little too heavily as the top bar of the fence gave way, as I went forwards the second bar caught me just above the knees and I did a little forward roll landing on my back at the top of a very steep slope. I started to slide rapidly down the hill, so I dug my heels in, bad move, this catapulted me upright and over again, I continued in this fashion until I reached the bottom of the hill. At no point in my drunken fall had I managed to stop peeing, so I was covered in my own urine, this paled in to insignificance beside the fact that I had fallen into a cow field and had struck at least a dozen good size cow pats on the way down. To add insult to stupidity, I didn't make it back up the slope the first time either.