Wahey, I've had (nearly) two full days off work, that's two full days in six weeks, go on, feel sorry for me! Anyway, Meg and myself had a nice lunch at Bistro Fiori in Leeds, roast pheasant with a nice Chianti for me, penne carbonara with the '02 vintage diet coke for Meg. I splashed out on a few cd's in the HMV sale, a re-mastered copy of Marillion - Fugazi caught my eye. Re-mastered to make the drums sound like cardboard boxes, can't quite figure out why. The diet has gone to bollocks already, we ate out again in the evening, Balti Master and the nicest garlic naan I have ever eaten, and some lager, oh well, at least I did 20k on the rowing machine. Holiday planning is now in full swing for the whistle stop tour of Europe, but I've been barred from vineyard visits, can't think why that should be. WARNING : POTENTIALLY NOT WORK SAFE BIT. This might count as porn, but don't worry, you won't see any naked flesh as it is all safely enclosed in well inflated rubber, I don't know about you, but it doesn't press my buttons. And as for this, it is probably best not to ask how I found a site featuring a tinfoil devil hat wearing cow, I apparently have too much time on my hands. A DANGEROUS CHILDHOOD I might write a few of these, as it occurs to me there were a number of things we did as kids that seem insane and/or potentially life threatening by my adult sense of danger. This one is called........... Cookie And The Genie. We always used to make genies when it was firework season, empty a whole packet of bangers on to a sheet then light them with a match, PWOOF, up it goes with a flash, great fun. We thought we could add to the fun by making a paper funnel and pouring a large (20 banger) genie into the lock of the school canteen, it was fitted with a paper 'fuse', and we all stood well back as the 'volunteer', Cookie, stood forward to light it. However, confined within the lock, the gunpowder once more behaved as a banger, like a bloody big one in fact, BOOM, Cookie was backlit by a fireball which exploded out from the door. We ran. When we eventually stopped running and laughing we found that poor Cookie was blackened all up his arm and across one side of his face, and the canteen lock was ruined. Cookie had black gunpowder speckles in his skin for days, and the police didn't catch us, but we can't have been far away from causing serious injury, and we laughed 'till we cried afterwards.