Health report - insomnia has vanished - weight dropping like a stone. "After just one day", I hear you cry, well here's a good tip for starting a diet, the night before you start drink 8 pints of lager, eat a five course Chinese banquet with extra rice, finish with an extra large sticky toffee pudding, and top it off with a mug of extra sweet cocoa before bed, then weigh yourself in the morning, works a treat. Whilst I was having a bout of insomnia midweek I could quite clearly hear a Barn Owl murdering a rabbit in the woods behind my house, I could hear it clearly as judging by the volume the Owl was holding a megaphone to the rabbit as it screamed in pain, noisy bastard. This leads on to another rabbit story. One night I was driving one of the waitresses home (I'm their boss by the way, I don't otherwise manage to entice teenage girls into my car), as we came down the hill to the road we could see a bright light out on the golf course, the following conversation ensued...... Unidentified waitress, we'll call her Lisa "What is that man doing" Me "He's lamping for rabbits" Lisa "What's that?" Me "He shines the big light so that he can see the rabbits in the dark" Lisa "Oh, that's nice" ???? Me "Then he shoots them" Being a fully trained and sensible chef, I highly recommend that you do not do this with your microwave oven , or if you must do it, use someone else's, and stand well back.